The Cannon

I don't know whether watching that episode of Six Feet Under did it to me or not, but I found myself thinking about relationships. Or lack of, during my earlier years.

Isn't it odd how looking back on something you once felt so comfortable and in tune with, now seems so impersonal? I feel as though I'm flipping through pages of a book I once read. It's like a vague and distant memory, but I can still remember how it all turns out.

There's no surprise ending, but there is always an ending. And, sometimes, a specific memory triggers that certain spot. Whether it be sadness or happiness (or both) that come flooding back, the realization sort of hits you that it all really happened. I wonder if this feeling is similar with people in general, not just of relationships.

I'm fully aware that the chances of me never seeing these people I once had feelings for, or time invested in, or was even intimate with, are highly likely. Possibly of never again acknowledging their existence, even. I just have these thoughts, these pages.

Which sort of leads me on the path to other people. People I used to see daily, went to school with, were friends with. Some longer ago than others. Every once in awhile a person is mentioned, briefly even, and it almost snaps me back into reality. I knew them, once. Or, I used to be friends with them. Or even, I used to date them.

I guess I'm just baffled that everyone just keeps moving on, regardless.