The Cannon

I'm not used to this.

Uneasiness has always been somewhat natural to me. I hesitate to use the words "high strung" to describe myself because of it coming off sounding slightly uptight. I'm more along the lines of an anxiety-ridden individual. Always have been.

As of lately, I have little to be worried about. At least within a short time span, everything is going smoothly. Although, my week-by-week schedule of problems has turned into larger concerns that affect the long run of things.
I haven't had a job for over four months. Thanks to education, I've always had a goal I was striving towards. Even if I didn't always consider school as a top priority, it was still considered a goal. There was always an end in sight.

The queasiness in the lower portion of my stomach hasn't quite subsided since this thought.

Cat asked me last night if my current situation made me happy. But can you ever feel happy or content with every obstacle that is thrown your way? Sure, there are different aspects in your life that you feel differently about. I mean, yes. The particular situation makes me happy. But what about the others?

Despite the others, I have someone who will walk me to work in the morning and sleep with me at night. More importantly, I still get that twinge of excitement that I was worried would fade away.

So there isn't much resolved for me. There is still no end in sight. Not for my minimum wage job, not for my non-existent education fund. Not for my indecisive mind.

But I guess that's what this is all about.